Monday, July 13, 2009

Babe of the All-Star Week

In honor of the 2009 Baseball All-Star Game being held tonight. I've put together my own version of an All-Star Game. I've compiled my top 9 Female Villains and my top 9 Female Heroes. Villains making up the AL of course being that I'm an NL fan. (PHILLIES) So without further delay:

2009 AL All-Star Villans
In Right Field at the #9 position: Natasha Henstridge. To me she'll always be the extremely naked and sexy alien in the original Species. But Natasha has been playing the hardened female role in multiple thrillers. She was the lovable wife to allegedly dead Jimmy "The Tulip" in the whole 9 yards and some other stuff I never saw. But she is a sexy one!

In Center Field at the #8 position: Uma Thurman. We may love her for the kick ass role as "The Bride" in Tarantino's Kill Bill but Uma gets the nod on this All-Star Villains squad for her god awful role as Poison Ivy in Batman & Robin. I don't have too much to say about the movie for it was one of the worst things to get burned onto film. But Uma is Hot! And so she gets to be on my team. Hell she can be on anything of mine!

In Left Field at the # 7 position: Kristanna Loken. Now at first looking at the name you think. "Who?" But pictures are worth a 1,000 words. She's the T-X model Terminator in the more recent T:3 Rise of the Machines. Despite her liquid exterior with a heart powered by fuel cells, Kristanna is just too hot not to get voted onto this team. I don't think she was ever in another movie, but she's left her impression on all of us. Wait, apparently, according to IMDB, she appears in "The L Word." I have been meaning to check that show out per the suggestion of Mr. Skin.

At Short Stop in the #6 position: Kristen Bell. Well, what can I say about K-Bell? I wasn't a fan. Never seen an episode of Veronica Mars despite the rave reviews. (Then again it was cancelled faster than my dentist appointment) But Kristen found a place in my heart with her performance in the wildly funny Forgetting Sarah Marshall. But her cold hearted cheating slore of an ex-girlfriend role isn't what gets her on this team. No sir! It's her vindictively evil role as Elle on NBC's Heroes that puts her into the villain category. If anyone can hold down this Middle Infield it's Kristen. Lets see her turn those double plays. "Bull Shit, Bull Shit, Bull Shit!"

At Third Base in the #5 position: Rebecca Romijn. Rebecca can take many faces in her roles over the years. But no one character has more faces than Mystique in the X-Men Series. Her body paint alone drove me crazy! She has a smoking body and the fact that she slept with John Stamos makes her legendary. haha. She's now the wife of the Sliders star Jerry O'Connell and I think he's pretty cool too! Oh she was super sexy in Simone as well.

At Second Base in the #4 position: Lucy Liu. Best known for her role as one of three Angels in the remake series of Charlies Angels, she touched my heart with her role as O-Ren Ishii, the sexy American-Chinese uh... I mean sexy assassin in Kill Bill. (hope to keep my head) Lucy Liu has always been just absolutely adorable. And it was the famously funny episode of Futurama that sealed the deal for me!
At First Base in the #3 position: Famke Janssen. Like her X-3 counterpart Rebecca Romijn, Famke played the most powerful mutant of them all in Phoenix aka Dark Jean Grey. One of my top 5 Villans in all of comic land, strictly cause she's the most powerful, Famke found a way to stay ubber hot with a red vained face. Not sure how but I wasn't complaining. Famke has had some hot appearances in the TV series Nip/Tuck that will drive any man crazy. Hence earning her a core spot on this team.

In the Catcher spot at the #2 position: Scarlett Johansson. I mean where do I start with ScarJo? She's just stupid hot. Now I know when you hear ScarJo you don't think Villain. Do you? Well if you like to watch really bad movies like me then you will know that she played Silken Floss in the atrocious The Spirit. I mean so bad, that I only got through 15 minutes all 4 times I attempted to watch it. Yes, 4 attempts. This coming from the kid that owns Josie and the Pussycats, Rollerball and Failure to Launch. So YES IT'S THAT BAD! But man is ScarJo so so so so so hot. But don't fear yet kids. She'll steal the Villain role yet again in the upcoming film Iron Man 2 as the vixen Black Widow. I'll be looking forward to her hotness all over that giant screen. Hell she was the only thing that made minutes 10-15 enjoyable of The Spirit.

In the Ace spot as Starting Pitcher: Eva Mendes. Eva is my #1 Hollywood Hottie. Fell in Love with her originally in Exit Wounds. Then was just breathtaking as Denzels lady in Training Day. She showed up in 2 Fast 2 Furious making me hard, I mean IT hard for me not to love hot women and fast cars! Pulled a great roll in Once Upon A Time In Mexico. But she solidified my desire for her when she was just herself in the underrated Stuck on You. But sadly she gets put on the Villains list for a few rolls. 1 Roll= Very Good, 2 Rolls= Sad! Very Sad. She played a drug addicted, crime involved chick in We Own The Night= Good. But she's really on the team cause she A- Agreed to appear in the 2nd Worst Movie of All Time Ghost Rider and B- Agreed to appear in the 1st Worst Movie of All Time as an actual Villain Sand Saref in The Spirit. Yes again with this movie. After the 4th attempt I literally watched the film in Fast Forward so that I could just "see" the scenes starring Eva. I Do Enjoy a good Eva scene. Especially when there is some "Side Boobage" involved.
2009 NL All-Star Heroes

In Right Field at the #9 position: Michelle Ryan. Now unless you are a geek like myself, you will never know who this is. But I find myself to be a fan of good shows that go absolutely no where on TV. Michelle was the star of a very short run show named Bionic Woman. Decent writing, pretty girls, high tech robotic Michelle I couldn't go wrong. Show could have been much better but hey, I like bad things!

In Center Field at the #8 position: Hayden Panettiere. I won't say much about Hayden since my last week Babe was dedicated to her. But simply, she helps save the world every Monday on Heroes and shes damn cute.

In Left Field at the #7 position: Megan Fox. Again, I won't say much about Megan since she was my Babe two weeks ago. But without her, Optimus could never had saved the world from the Fallen in the newest Transformers!

At Short Stop in the # 6 position: Lena Headey. There is just something about this girl that drives me nuts. Could be that she plays the overly protective mother of the savior of free men John Connor. It could be that she was the strong willed Queen of Sparta in 300. Or it just could be that she's just hot! However it works out, she's playing SS, and I'm wondering if she'll get another prominent roll.
At Third Base in the #5 position: Halle Berry. Who doesn't love a good Halle. Swordfish anyone? She was Catwoman! It was bad but she was in the costume. That was a plus. She's one of the most attractive actresses of our time and she's actually a good actress. That's Rare! Like Mr. Clean with HAIR! She was Storm in X-Men and that white hair was working for her like no other! I'd take her home to mom.

At Second Base in the #4 position: Malin Akerman. I LOVED The Watchmen. Despite mixed reviews, and the minimal income generated at the Box Office Malin was just SMOKING. Sex Scene was hot. But of course not as hot as the scene in The Heartbreak Kid. "Fuck me like a Black Guy Eddie! Jackknife me!" WOW! She does have her moments when you look at a pic and say, she's not cute at all! But those are few and far between cause this girl is Cajun, no wait she's BLAZIN!

At First Base in the #3 position: Summer Glau. The cornerstone of the NL Heroes, Summer is actually an Anti-Hero. A reprogrammed T-800, so we think, once trying to destroy all humans, now protecting the one that will save us all. But Sarah Connor Chronicles was canceled before we can find out the true nature of the T-800's upgrades. She started as the answer to mans problems on Firefly and progressed onto the big screen in Serenity. But she will forever by my Terminatrix! I do have a feeling she'll be type casted into the female soldier roll but I see big things for her in the future. Be alert, "she'll be back" for us all!

In the Catcher spot and the #2 position: Angelina Jolie. The Stealth Assassin in Wanted could have earned her the 2 spot on this squad but it's just not the case. We must think back a bit to the two movie epic Tomb Raider. You know Gerard Butler was in one of those? Angy is hot, she's banging Brad Pitt and she's like ubber rich. She's on top of the world. She buys kids for gods sake. Did I mention she's HOT!?

The Ace of the NL presents: Jessica Alba. The Invisible Woman, Jessica takes her Hero stardom to the next level in the Fantastic Four series. She wasn't the hottest thing during the movies and at times even annoying. But off screen she's just too adorable to not have her here in the Starting Pitcher spot. She first appeared as a sexy savior in the TV series Dark Angel. She would ride around on her sleek black stealthy motorcycle and look all kinds of good. She was the best in Good Luck Chuck though. She remains atop the sexy poll of Hollywood and I can't see her coming down any time soon. She doesn't try to out act her ability and knows that shes working to the max the best of her abilities. You go Jessica!
Ladies and Gentlemen, Your 2009 All-Star Babes!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I loved all of your picks, especially Eva Mendes. I too have a thing for Lena Headey, Natasha Henstridge and Summer Glau. I was disappointed that Jessica Biel didn't make it though.

mrmomo00 said...

Great post; you're gettin pretty good. One objection: where the hell is Rosario Dawson!? Too obvious and far too hot to leave off. I don't care if she has a mans jawline...that's my girl.