Friday, February 20, 2009

Movie in a Minute

Joblo.com reported on a pretty interesting site yesterday. http://www.rinkworks.com/movieaminute/
The site takes a movie and summarizes it in just a couple of lines. It's definitely fun to click around and read what they say. There are some really bad ones on there. But a few do a good job at recapping the films. I already have a few favorites of my own:

A Clockwork Orange...
Malcolm McDowell
I was having a right horrorshow time of it, O my brothers, crasting and drasting with my droogies all the nochy, viddying the vino flow. Then, those glooby bratchny millicents loveted me and hurled me in the plenny like a common prestoopnik. That vonny plenny wasn't for me, so I let some doctor vecks filly with my mozg to fix me up right skorry. Then I ittied on home like a good malckickiwick, but I couldn't slooshy my lovely Ludwig anymore without getting bolnoy. It was oozhassny, so I jumped out the okno. I've had rather a change of heart, and thinking of getting a zheena like a proper chelloveck, and all that cal.
Audience
Eh?

THE END
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
The Blair Witch Project...
Actors
A twig! I'm scared!

Audience
Get me some dramamine.

Actors
Thump.

THE END
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Pretty Woman...
Julia Roberts
I'm a hooker, but I don't kiss on the lips.

Richard Gere
I have a lot of money.

Julia Roberts
(smooch)

THE END

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Trilogy Anyone?

Stole this from my favorite movie gossip site Joblo.com.

Found it to be fairly accurate. Enjoy!



With the exceptions of Batman and The Matrix I think this is a pretty cool Trilogy Chart. Batman 2 was really really good, maybe even better than 1. And the entire Matrix trilogy was a bit better than stated. Yes, 1 was about 80x better than 2/3 but 2/3 were still worth half a bar! I feel that Lord of the Rings and Star Wars are the best depicted trilogies in this chart as well.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Devastator


Hasbro has released exclusive photos of it's new toy line for the upcoming film Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. The trailer recently released previewed an obviously large transformer riding on one wheel and completely demolishing anything in its path. It has been revealed that this Decepticon is in fact one of six that will form the ungodly Constructicon named Devastator. Devastator will consist of six separate transformers who all take forms of different construction site vehicles. It's rumored that Devastator will be at least twice the size of a typical transformer. Hasbro has released numerous pictures of these figures that I have posted here. The Decepticons that make up Devastator are as follows: Long Haul is a green Caterpillar 773B dump truck that will form the right leg. Rampage is a Caterpillar D9 bulldozer who will form the left leg. Scrapper is a Caterpillar 992G scoop ladder who forms the right arm. Hightower is a yellow Obelco CK2500 truss crane and forms the left arm. Scavenger is the Terex O&K RH 400 hydraulic mining excavator as seen in the trailer that will form Devastator's torso. And finally Mixmaster is a black and silver Mack concrete mixer that is the head of this monstrosity. Each will come together and manifest the most redic looking transformer and probably the most insane enemy movies have ever encountered.


2009 All-Star Celebration




Saturday and Sunday in Phoenix Arizona the NBA celebrated it's 58th All Star Weekend featuring numerous events. None more spectacular than the Slam Dunk Competition and of course the East vs West All-Star Game. As big of an NBA fan as I am, I unfortunately did not watch more than a minute of the events. But I will however recap the weekend for the rest of you who also missed out.

Friday started out with an NBA Cares event. Basically it was a bunch of old NBA heads giving a Q&A to the people of Phoenix with such riveting slogans as "Help slam dunk hunger in Phoenix!" A wonderful charitable event I'm sure but nothing I will dwell on. Friday then continued on with McDonalds All Star Celebrity Game. Coaching this group of elites were two of the most celebrated NBA players of our time, Magic Johnson and Julius Erving. Now when i read Celebrities I think back to the good old 90's when MTV had a Rock-N-Jock NBA game with the likes of Jenny McCarthy, Bill Belamy and Christian Slater. So I was excited to see who was in attendance of this event only to have my hopes and dreams shot down. To the NBA, a celebrity is really just an obscure athlete. Participants in this years event included 10 Basketball players (consisting of NBA Legends, WNBA stars and Harlem Globetrotters) 5 Actors and 1 Terrell Owens. T.O. with his stealthy 17 points and 1 assist took the MVP award marking his second appearance in the Celebrity event. In yet another even Friday evening T-Mobile presented the Rookie challenge. What might their challenge be you ask? It is the Sophomore Class of the NBA. Who dominated the fresh group of youngsters. Led by the MVP performance of Sophomore Kevin Durant's 46 points (33 points over the second highest scorer on the team and Philadelphia's own Thaddeus Young), the Sophomores beat the Rookies 122-116. Friday's bill of events was topped of by the NBA D-League All-Star competitions. This event included a game of H-O-R-S-E, a Three-Point Shoot-Out and a Slam Dunk Competition. Who participated? I don't know they are a bunch of D-League guys that nobody cares about. Lets just say some guy named James White of some team called the Anaheim Arsenal won something. So moving on!



Saturday started off with Haier Shooting Stars Competition. Now for those who don't know this competition is simple. Three player teams (1 old school, 1 new school and one WNBA) shoot from different points of the court. Each spot worth x points and most points win. That said, Team Detroit won consisting of Arron Affalo, Bill Laimbeer and Katie Smith. Another event that just fills time and space in All-Star Weekend. Following was the Playstation Skills Challenge were Derrick Rose, rookie for the Chicago Bulls, was crowned champ. The most important stat in this event was that 76er Moe Williams is nearly a quarter of a minute faster than Tony "French Stewart" Parker. Second to last event Saturday night was of course the Foot Locker 3-Point Shoot-Out. In an OT Shootout between Daequan Cook and Rashard Lewis Cook took the trophy and threw the X down on Jason Kapono's chance at a Threepeat. Saturday was topped off with
the Sprite (and if you are keeping count this is the 6th sponsored event in two days) Slam Dunk contest. In a David vs Goliath showdown it came down to fan favorites Dwight Howard aka Super Man and Nate Robinson aka Krpitonate in the final round, it was all hanging on fan vote to choose a winner. While Howard ran into his phone booth to change into his superman cape, he had a 12 foot basket brought out. Throwing the ball down like the net was eye level gained a boisterous crowd roar. Only to then be used as a prop in his own downfall. As the 5-9 Robinson
changed into his all green uniform (shoes, arm bands and ball included) and leapt over 6-11 Howard to slam down with authority (on a regulation 10 foot net of course) gaining 52% of the fan vote and claiming his rank among the elite dunkers in the NBA.

Sunday was all about anticipation for the 58th All-Star Game. Typical East vs West. With starters like Lebron James and Allen Iverson in the east taking on Kobe Bryant and Chris Paul of the west, it was really the reunion of Kobe and Shaq. (first time as a team since 2004's LA L
aker
championship) Fittingly, the two were crowned Co-MVP's based on Kobe's 27 points and Shaq's 17 in 11 minutes. The West finished the game in a 146-119 spanking. And thus concluding the festivities.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Happy Hallmark Day


Last night I saw a film, if I recall it was a horror film. Got a chance to catch the new Friday the 13th last night. And let me say that I found it to be surprisingly good. It did not fail to deliver all the necessary aspects of a true slasher film. Abundance of gorish kills - check. Sneaky ninja killer - check. Many camera pop-up jumpy scenes - check. An unnecessary (in a great way) amount of nudity - check.

* * *Spoiler Alert * * *


The film starts off with a scene flashing medley of the 1980 original chase between the original camp counselors and Mrs. Vorhees that ends in decapitation. The movie proceeds to a group of campers searching for a little piece of heaven* that opens up to moments of sex (involving a character that looks almost exactly like my best friend Joey), cheese comedy and a plethora of slashing realistic kills. After disposing of the campers in an adrenaline raged no shortcut massacre we get the sense of what the rest of the movie has in store as the giant red title "FRIDAY the 13th" smacks the screen.

The rest of the movie is well worth the view. Kills are still original and by no means cheap knock offs of any previous Jason flick. The character development is small but gets you close enough to have some type of connection to each victim. The new spin on Jason has a fresh feel and gives you more of a feeling of this is kind of how it would have went down instead of the previous films where you just sit there and go... "come on, really?" I definitely feel that if you are a fan of the slasher genre that this will fit your bill. Overall I'll give it 7/10

* - Camp Crystal Lake happens to have a massive Pot Garden. Making us all understand why Jason is so territorial.

Friday, February 13, 2009

God Of War III

Fear Nothing...

video


This is the first full trailer for the highly anticipated God of War III exclusively on the PS3. This, my friends, will be the straw that breaks the camel's back and forces me to buy a PS3. Or just hope my brother in law get it and I play it there all the time. For those of you who haven't played either GOW I or II, I say to you, get a life and play some video games! But for real, this series is by far the best video games has to offer. And no GTA IV is not included in that statement cause that thing is beyond a video game! Also can see here in full HD http://www.gametrailers.com/player/45513.html

Fox Friday Heats Up

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles (my favorite TV show right above Heroes) has been moved to Friday nights and it's mid-season premier is tonight. I am as big of a fan of the Terminator mytho as anyone else I know. The ideology of Terminator may actually extend beyond that of The Matrix (my all time favorite science-fiction media ever). And I contribute that strictly to time travel. But if in the future, the Wachowski Bros. tell me that Neo masters Time Travel then, phssshh, it's right back on top of my list! But I highly recommend this series, if not to sit and watch on a Friday night but it defiantly deserves a DVR time slot.


Also on Fox Friday Nights is the new series named Dollhouse.


Complements of IMDB, they state Dollhouse to be as so:


The show follows an organization that employs mind-wiped DNA-altered humans known as Dolls who are implanted with false memories and skills for various missions and tasks. When they are not 'at work' they are living in a real life Dollhouse which gives the show the name. One of those mind-wiped humans, a young woman named Echo, is slowly starting to become aware of herself and what's going on - all the while somebody on the outside is trying to bring the Dollhouse down while getting closer to Echo - possibly not aware that she is one of the Dolls he is after.


Sounds worth the DVR time slot but after three episodes I'm sure there will be talks of cancellation. But I'll give it a chance simply cause I do love me some Eliza Dushku.

Hall of Fame Noms



Count the rings Bitch... 1 2 3 4 5th and 6! Jordan leads the way for the 2009 HOF Noms that include the likes of David Robinson and John Stockton.



Let us reflect for a moment...

Jordan graduated North Carolina Class of 1984. Drafted by the Chicago Bulls 3rd overall.* Won 6 Championships (all with the bulls) in 91' 92' 93' 96' 97' 98'. Proud owner of five different jersey #'s that include 5, 9, 12, 45 and the infamous #23. He's a 5x MVP, 14x All-Star, 6x Finals MVP, Defensive player of the year 1988, 1985 Rookie of the Year, 3x All-Star MVP, 2x Slam Dunk Champ and of course played for the Original Olympic Dream Team. Did I mention that he scored over 32,000 points in his career as well? Let us not forget the 1994 stint in the Chicago White Sox minor league system that showed us just how much we missed him in a basketball jersey.

With numerous other memorable Michael Jordan moments (I always appreciate the one when my parents decided to name me after such a brilliant athlete) it should be an honor just to watch him be inaugurated into the HOF this year. So lets all give him a hand of applause. clap clap clap clap clap clap clap



* - 1. Hakeem Olajuwon to Rockets 2. Sam Bowie to Trailblazers - Combined Championships during Jordan's reign = 2

Inglorious Bastards


Q.T.'s (Quentin Tarantino) remake of the 1977 film Inglorious Bastards has caught some buzz over the movie wire for some time now. The first official full trailer is up on the web. Take a look over at yahoo movie trailers. http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1808404206/trailer




This 2009 rendition is staring Brad Pitt and is featured in the trailer. A much different take on the 1977 version that was a truly good view. I recommend it to anyone who wants to appreciate why Hollywood gets forced to remake 1970's films. Americans killing Nazi's, now that's good ol' fashion film making.




New Wolverine Photo

Picture can speak for itself...



...Butt. New image complements of IGN.com of an obvious ridiculous battle scene between Wolverine (Jackman) and Sabertooth (Schreiber). X-Men Origins: Wolverine is set to release this May and is in my Top 3* must see movies this summer!



* - Watchmen, Terminator Salvation, X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Watchmen 80's Arcade


Came across Watchmen viral site.
Click on the arcade machine to play this 80's style game. It's your typical walk, punch and kick game. With simple goons and bad dialog. But it's still fun to play around with the original Silk Spectre. Enjoy.

Miss March Red Band


Miss March...




IGN.com has posted a new Red Band clip of the new comedy Miss March releasing March 13th. This film has the potential to be about as good as that 1999 comedy American Pie. I say check it out at the link below!

Thursday, February 12, 2009